Most of us want to meet and settle down with the “right” person, and most of us want such a relationship to last. At the same time, over fifty percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. What are some of the most important ideas when it comes to making your love last? Below are seven keys to long-term relationship success.
1. Do You Trust Your Partner?Trust is the first and perhaps most important predictor of long-term relational success. Without trust, none of the other six keys that follow will have much meaning. Ask yourself the following questions: In general, is your partner reliable and dependable? Can you count on your partner as the “rock” in your life? What about you for your partner?
For some, trust is a complicated matter. Some people trust blindly, while others have trust issues. Evaluate your partner’s trustworthiness based not upon unproven promises or wishful thinking, but on a strong overall record of dependability.
2. Are You and Your Partner Compatible in the Dimensions of Intimacy?
Authors Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor II identified four ways with which we can feel closely connected with our significant other. The four dimensions of intimacy are: Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Shared Activates.
Here’s a quick exercise to check you and your partner's compatibility in intimacy. List the four dimensions as follows:
_______________________________________________________
Partner A Partner B
Physical
Emotional
Intellectual
Shared Activities
_______________________________________________________
Next to each dimension, rank whether this is a “Must” have, “Should” have, or “Could” have for you in your romantic relationship.
After answering for yourself, next ask your partner to rank, or on your own put down how you think your partner would prioritize. The more “must-must” and “must-should” combinations between you and your partner, the greater the possibility of an intimate relationship. Since relationships are not static, a couple may evolve in the dimensions of intimacy. Understanding one another’s priorities, and connecting in ways that are important to both partners help ensure long-term relational success.
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